I’m a Bad Mom and That is Okay!

Yes I said it! I’m a Bad Mom!

Please don’t say “oh no, you’re a great mom”. I’m not! It took me a while to come to this point, and for me to realize that I am OK with being a bad mother. My children have a roof, food, clothes, gadgets, toys, and are loved. I have come to the conclusion that I am OK with it just being that.

I created 3 amazing kids, but I am no longer going to pretend I am a great mom. I am someone who wanted children for selfish reasons. My children were all brought into this world so that I could create and be responsible for little people. My lack of family lead me to want to create my own family. Which I did. Now these beautiful little me children are my responsibility, which leads to why I am a bad mother!

10 Reasons I am a Horrible Mom and a Bad Parent

  1. I hate playing with kids! I always have. I would rather talk science or show them how to garden than have a tea party or watch their magic show (did I say I hate magic, well I do I HATE magic even though my oldest loves it). The thing is I have ZERO imagination or creativity! I mean none! I don’t plan on pretending to like any of these things either. I also do not intend to pretend to like playing with dolls or racing little cars around on the floor. I just won’t do it! They can join me outside in the garden or play some minecraft with me, but I will never do the pretend stuff.
  2. I use bad words A LOT!! I mean a lot. I am never going to believe that cussing around my children will some how turn them into horrible people. So yes, I cuss in front of my children. Do I run around dropping the F bomb every two minutes? No, but that has nothing to do with the kids, I just don’t use the F word often. I don’t cuss in front of other people’s children, but mine know that mommy says words that aren’t ok said anywhere other than home or with close friends.
  3. I have zero patience and I’m a control freak! These go together because I am demanding. I want things done the way I want them, when I want them. My expectations are really high! This is not something that goes well with the average view of parenting at all.
  4. I am not a peaceful parent! As much as I like to think I can be a peaceful parent and as much as I TRY to be a peaceful parent, my natural personality leads me to be loud, demanding, and hold my little children to grown up expectations. I keep wanting to be the mom who never raises her voice, that remembers children will be children, and to always treat my kids the way I want to be treated. It doesn’t always work that way for me. I’m a loud person. This goes with the demanding part of me. It’s kind of hard to hold my children to my high expectations AND be a peaceful parent. Sometimes I yell, and (gasp) argue with my tween!
  5. My kids eat fast food sometimes. Once a week we eat food that is horrible for us. Yes I do feed my kids that pink slime (McDonalds) sometimes even though I know it will likely cause cancer for some people.
  6. I don’t home school. This is a big trend right now. I’m happy for those who can make it work, but there is no way in hell I will ever have the want or ability to home school. I really give credit to those who can. Such an amazing ability to keep their kids out of crappy public schools, but my schedule, life, and body will never allow me to home school.
  7. Sometimes breakfast is candy! Yup, I simply give in and say yes to candy for breakfast sometimes! No I do not argue the benefits of a healthy breakfast every single time. I just say “here, have it”
  8. Bed time is Bed time! I mean it. Unless you’re sick, dying, the house is on fire, you have to pee, or there is a burglar in your room I will not come back in and tuck you in 20 times and you will not get up and down. You don’t have to go to sleep, but my kids aren’t going to be bothering me after their bed time. That’s my me time and my couples time with my husband! Sorry, but I have to have uninterrupted time without children each day to stay sane!
  9. I don’t force my children to shower every day. Would I like it if my two stinky boys washed daily? Of course, but I have explained to them the possible consequences of not washing, if they want to deal with it then that’s on them! My toddler gets a bath when she asks unless of course I can no longer tell what color her skin is because she’s covered it in mud.
  10. My kids play a ton of video games and love TV. Everyone in my house enjoys gaming and TV, and (gasp) sometimes a lot! TV’s stay on most of the time in our home and there are 4 tablets usually going at the same time with a possibility that the XBOX might be on too! We are gamers and netflix bingers!

Why Am I OK With Being A Bad Mom?

Until recently I wanted to keep pushing towards being a better parent, to be the parent everyone pretends they are. Then I woke up this morning and said screw it! My kids are smart, healthy, and provided for! I have an 11 year old who is smart beyond my understanding. He’s a critical thinker of all things. He questions everything, and that is amazing! I have a 9 year old who can throw a football further than many grown men. No matter the sport he can conquer it like a natural. He puts me to shame every time he competes against me and I think that is pretty freaking cool! My baby is 4. She is so bright and creative that sometime I forget she is only 4. She’s been drawing little people since she was 1. She draws better than I do. On top of that she has conversations like an adult would. She is the little more amazing version of me!!

So why should I feel bad about being a crappy mom? My kids are cool!! So be NORMAL people! You can read a million studies about what is best for your children, but when it comes down to it if they are happy and healthy, maybe, just maybe, you aren’t that bad of a parent!

To All of You Perfect Parents

No matter how perfect you think your parenting is, reality is we all screw our kids up a little! We just do. You are no different than any of us “bad parents”, your kids might just be screwed up in a different way!

So I will take being a crappy mom, because trying or pretending to be a great mom is exhausting! If my kids will end up messed up either way, I might as well keep myself in the process and not fake it till I make it! After all, we are talking about little people with brains of their owns. As long as they are provided for and not abused they will make it!

I love my kids, they love me! That is all that really matters!

 

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